Why is it that sometimes you know you're totally in your element, but you can't feel it? The last couple of weeks have been sort of like this. One moment, I knew what I felt, the next I was lost. Although this shouldn't strike me as new, I feel quite disconnected. And it doesn't keep me at ease either. I'm not even sure if what I'm blogging right now has a flow or not. Sort of like my system just hung up. Crashed? Am I me anymore? Friends would say yes. They would pat me on the back on say "Mary!! You've always been like this! Maybe it just struck you now." In which case I wonder, who was I all these years. A lot of thoughts are swimming around in my head now. This reminds me of something a friend said long long back..During one of my lost-in-thoughts moment, he had seemingly asked me something and I obviously didn't answer. That day was the first time someone told me to be careful of the thoughts that go around inside the head. I remember the scene, the setting, his voice, what I wore, my expression so clearly as though it happened just now. Funny things have been happening lately. I feel something and then I don't and then I feel completely blank and then it keeps going on to something else. I guess I wasn't the only one wandering around during the last couple of weeks..my mind has been doing a bit of travelling of its own.
I still don't feel as though any of this makes sense..and moreover its almost like repeating the idea throughout..Maybe I'll blog later when I'm in the mood.
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